Monday, January 07, 2013

Inaugural council gathering to feature hootchy-kootchy, tootsie wootsie and an election.

As Matt Nash hinted in last Friday’s column, the News and ‘Bune is reporting that 4th district council person Pat McLaughlin is a candidate for the city council presidency. The year’s first meeting is tonight, and that’s when they’ll vote. If I finish reading the phone book, I may even attend.

The incumbent majordomo is Diane Benedetti. As usual, she did not return the newspaper’s call.

As usual, it can be expected that Dan Coffey will interject himself in the role of kingmaker.

As usual, Shirley Baird will continue to refrain from blogging, and as usual, lone Republican Kevin Zurschmiede will receive his instructions from One Southern Indiana via messages inserted into pumpkins, as written on Horseshoe Foundation stationary.

On Silver Hills, a lonely dog will bark – at least until Bob Caesar, as usual, proposes spending another million or two to remove the mutt’s vocal cords, remove the kennel to Rent Boy Park, or hire more lawyers to prevent the Reisz building from being rehabbed.

Your task as reader is to determine which of the preceding “Democrats” have any remote connection to the Democratic Party as commonly known in the remainder of the nation. Good luck with that; you’ll need a magnifying glass, and probably quite a lot of whiskey. Indeed, there are some things that beer just cannot do.


In the same article, mention is made of the newly enabled Ethics Commission, for which five top secret appointments have been made, although there is no mention of who the lucky winners are. The commission first will meet and organize itself, and then it can hear the first big case, a dusty and long-awaited complaint filed by downtown businessman Randy Smith pertaining to the administration’s cashiering of Mike Ladd from the Urban Enterprise Association one year ago.

Turns out Robert Lamm (Chicago) was mistaken. In New Albany, time passes much too slowly, when we’re together laughing. Join me at the council conclave, and don't forget your admission ticket:

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