Before or after the opening prayer?

With apologies to the writers of "You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown," from which this showstopping performance by Snoopy is lifted.

---

Dan Coffey (spoken):
*growl* My grandstanding clock just went off. It's Coffey Time, and Mayor England forgot to prompt me. Here I am, a withering hollow shell of a ward heeler, and there sits my Coffey cup ... EMPTY! But that's alright. He'll remember. When no hypocritical populist comes to bash him after the council meeting, then he'll remember, and he'll rush out here past the DVD place but it'll be too late. There will be nothing left but the dried carcass of the hometown boy made good who used to disassemble so happily with him. Nothing left, but the bleached councilman’s bones ...

Mayor England (spoken):
Hey Danny, are you asleep or something? I've been standing here a whole minute with a sewer rate increase.

Coffey (sung):
Coffey Time?
It's Coffey Time!
Behold the vital outrage
Now brought forth to charge my anger
Behold the flowing sewage moist and sweet
Which has been sent to slake my thirst!

Mayor England (spoken):
Okay, there's no need for a big production. Just get off the porch of that crappy shotgun house and pontificate. (exit)

Coffey:
Doo doo
Doo doo doo doo.
Doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo.

It's Coffey Time.
Yeah, it's Coffey Time.
Oh, it's Cof-Cof Coffey Time, the very best time of day.

It's Coffey Time.
Yeah, it's Cof-fey Time.
And when Coffey Time comes can grandstanding be far away?

Bring on the cops, bring on an Aw-Dit,
Bring on the firemen and gimme some EDIT.
'Cause it's Coffey
Coffey, Coffey, Coffey Time.

WHISTLES (first four measures)
da-doo-m-ba-dah
za-doo-buh ya-ba-doo-ba
Coffey Time

Doo doo doo doo dot doot.

Br-r-ing on the zoning, bring the cell phones
Bring on the builders and their patio homes
'Cause it's Coffey
Coffey, Coffey, Coffey
Coffey
Super, pepper upper
Coffey
Super duper Coffey Time

'Wintertime's nice with the bile and snow
Summertime's hot with Birdseye to show
Town hall, overtime, lawyer-time too
But they can't hold a novelty lighter to'
My
Coffey Time
Ohhh yeahhh!

'Hello home listeners ... how are ya?'

B-r-r-ring on the finger, I’ll point it at you
Copperhead's out to get the Sewer Board, too
'Cause it's Coffey
Coffey Coffey Coffey
Coffey
super pepper upper
Coffey
super duper Coffey Time

Gospel chorus: Coffey (scat style):
Coffey Time! Whoo!
Coffey Time! Whoo! Yeah!
Coffey Time! Bring on Kay Garry!
Coffey Time! It's time for Shane Gibson.
Coffey Time! Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Coffey Time! hhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Coffey Time! Oh Yeah!
Coffey Time! Bring on Carl Maaalox.
Coffey Time! bring on, bring on the
Pergessives
Coffey Time! Bring on, bring me
some of Them People
Coffey Time! Bring on, bring on the
little people's subsidies!

Coffey (wild riffling improvisation):
bring on bring on
gimme a sidewalk gimme a patio gimme somethin’ to chew
gimme Larry gimme Bill gimme somethin to do

Steve Price:
TWANG … Why can't we just dig some ditches and send that sewer stuff right down the middle of the road past the mayor’s house? Heck, be cheaper that way.

Coffey (very softly):
Exactly, so let’s make Coffey Time a joyous occasion!

(boldly, broad tempo, full voice):
Coffey,
Coffey, Coffey,
Coffey Time!!!