Saturday, June 20, 2009

One fine morning in the open air museum.

A few minutes ago, I was sitting on my porch smoking a cigar when a shattering noise was heard in the wake of a passing (speeding) car. It proved to be an empty bottle of Miller High Life. I went inside, got the broom and dustpan, and cleaned up the large chunks as best I could, adding other bits of trash that had collected since yesterday, when I mowed and cleaned the perimeter.

I've no special buts of wisdom to offer on this topic. Since time began, responsible citizens have been obliged to tidy up after irresponsible assholes, and so it goes. One accepts it as part of the burden of being human, which includes the cherished right to procreate at will, irrespective of the consequences.

Still, questions do occur to me.

How come an examination of the remains of bottles tossed from passing cars by assholes never reveals a Chimay, Schlenkerla or Thomas Hardy's label?

Is it because they understand the need to decant good beers and refrain from quaffing directly from the bottle, but are unwilling to challenge the open container law by carrying proper glassware in their cars?

Unlikely. I gotta go bike to work, and dodge those SUVs along the way.

3 comments:

edward parish said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
edward parish said...

What if it had been a broken bottle of "Coffey" Stout?

Barturtle said...

I think that part of the issue may not have so much to do with the vehicle operator as with the vehicle itself...try as I might, the "drinking vessel holders" in my truck just won't hold a Franziskaner glass (it won't fit between the "holder" and the bottom of the dash..and while a Chimay Glass will fit, the "holder" does nothing to help keep it upright during vehicle movements...of course these same "holders" also manage to dump my travel mug of coffee, bottle of water, or any other liquid containing device down my pant leg and into my shoe at the slightest provocation...the "holders" don't very well.

When I get around to designing my bicycle-mounted Aventinus glass holder, I'll make sure to ride by and throw my empties in your yard.