Saturday, January 20, 2007

“Heart of Darkness: If Not for Me, This Could Be Us.”

(Submitted press release)

Have you ever wondered, “After the smoke clears and the pony show is over what will be standing there?”

If this makes sense to you, then join 3rd district councilman Steve “Itchin’ Ears” Price as he hosts a fun and educational, fully escorted motorcoach inspection tour of Louisville’s Heart of Darkness – the Frankfort Avenue corridor.

CM Price’s “If Not for Me, This Could Be Us,” tour, which will serve as a campaign fundraiser, is designed to illustrate contemporary, viable principles of New Urbanism, area planning and revitalization, and to prove conclusively that such workable, contemporary techniques should not ever be permitted to flower in New Albany, at least as long as Steve Price is on the city council.

While cruising through the Crescent Hill and Clifton neighborhoods (since there’s never any place to park there, the councilman believes it best to keep the bus moving), you will scratch your head, gape in amazement, and gasp in horror at the unspeakable overcrowding and sheer human misery all around you.

You’ll be saddened and outraged at these depths of depravity, but unable to look away, as you view teeming niche shoppers, suave gallery habitués, multi-cultural eateries, happy and sated diners, all-hours coffee drinkers, high paying job holders, stolid taxpayers and highly valued properties. After witnessing this veritable catalog of wanton despair, you’ll surely echo the councilman’s heroic thoughts: We as a society shouldn’t “pack people in like sardines” – unless they’re jammed into economically efficient multiplexes carved out of otherwise useless old buildings in his council district.

But too much learnin’ makes a guy all ornery and smarty-pants, so there’ll be entertainment and vittles, too.

Councilman Price himself will provide musical interludes of old nursery rhyme favorites like “Three Blind Building Commission Members” and “The Old Woman Who Lived in My Rental Property,” performed on his vintage Stradaprecarious ukulele.

Cold barbecued bologna sandwiches on white bread will be offered courtesy of 1st District councilman Dan “Wizard of Westside” Coffey. Generic colas have been donated by Big Lots.

Bring the whole family and see what we should never allow ourselves to become. The price of admission is $2, and includes a voter registration form and a handy matchbook filled with the “Wit and Wisdom of Nanny Price.”

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For context, visit: An empty chair's better than an empty suit -- or why Frankfort Avenue is bad for an Uncouncilman's stunted imagination. Posted by Picasa

7 comments:

John Alton said...

Gee...sounds like fun but I'm more interested in taking a Saturday morning tour of the Roanoke Ave corridor in the 4th District of New Albany to try and picture what it would look like with a tire dump/junk yard in the middle of it, or what it would look like with burned out houses caused by sparks from a wood kiln fueled by scrap wood chips, and to try and find a way to stop it. This tour's free.

Ann said...

I can accept holding the City Council responsible for many problems that we have in New Albany, but let's not forget that we are not getting our money's worth from many other "departments" too.

From the Mayor's office, to the Building Commissioner, to Redevelopment and Planning, and on to our street department and other services, I see a lack of cooperation, a pervasive "can't do" attitude, little vision and concern for the present and the future. And we cannot--and should not--attribute it all to insufficient budget allocations.

These people work for us, and I expect them to do so, and to do it well.

The New Albanian said...

John: Good point. C's New Albany Eyesores now is linked at NAC, and he discusses this at length.

Richard: Like revenge, BBQ bologna is best served ... sparingly.

Tom: You may need a resorative beverage afterward.

Ann: Absolutely no one doubts this. Have we ever discussed there being the remote possibility of an incentive pay system of sorts for such service, i.e., base plus bonuses based on quantifiable performance?

Highwayman said...

Ann,

You are correct in that there is a lack of doing on the part of many of the city's departments.

It seems however that even when some of them have shown effort and come before the council with a legitimate request for help in doing so, they habitually get stoned walled!

Such was the case this past Thursday evening. Both the building commission and the fire department came forth with reports on their eforts to address New Albany's problem areas.

They were both denied by steller reasoning such as " I want to know where the money went" or "I didn't have time to make a phone call or ask the right person the right question."

Now in my humble opinion, if these folks are too busy in their personal lives to do that which they were elected to do they need to step down and let someone else do it.

I keep repeating this one fact. I have yet to fail to get the information I was seeking from either the city or county once I acertained who to ask for it. I also work for a living and find litle time to do such research, but I get it done nonetheless.

My question is, if I and other private citizens can access said information, why, please tell my why our elected representatives cannot.

Could it possibly be that their pride, carried over hate from past personal injustices (real or imagined), lack of education, or just pure insolence have caused them to be so obnoxious that people just do not want to deal with them?

If any of the above are true, and I suspect many are, and if they have one iota of concern for their constituents, they need to step down.

They may save the poor, invalid, fixed income lady or gentleman a few dollars a month on her/his utility bill for now.

But in the long run, their inaction will be detrimental to the value of life of these same folks. As a case in point, how many if any of them have contacted you concerning your mother's situation?

And don't tell me it is not their job. I also reject the premise that "if it isn't in my district, it isn't my concern!" None of New albany is seperated by a natural barrier such as an insumountable mountain range or an ocean. What occurs next door may be in another district than me, but it is next door all the same!

By statute,it may not be, but by pure commen decency it most certainly is, for this in the plank they all stood on and loudly proclaimed they would change if elected!

G Coyle said...

OK - I read Steve Price's blog and what I sense is a frustrated country-western song writer cause lines like; " Are you looking at both sides of the coin? Are your facts being determined by the perception of realty that has been painted around you, or are your facts encompassing the whole truth?" make no sense unless you sing it with a little melody.

Jeff Gillenwater said...

As the Highwayman wrote, other than documenting Council Members' inadequacies, there's no point in making a good argument when the body hearing that argument doesn't understand it and has no inclination to learn.

Anytime anyone in the city tries to push for improvement that requires Council approval, even if it will save or make us money in the long run, they're met with disdain by at least three and sometimes more members of the Council, none of whom have yet to provide a sensible alternative plan for solving what they agree are problems.

Everyone in the city (municipal departments, constituents, developers, etc) legitimately trying to do a good job soon learns that Council involvement makes accomplishment more difficult and often impossible. Your reward for reaching out to the Council is to be publicly flogged by a group of angry, illiterate men who lack the capability to even identify success, let alone encourage it via intelligent investment.

Re: incentive pay system
Gee, you'd think a group of men with 50 years of financial "watchdog" experience between them may have come up with something like that by now, you know, as a means of asking the tough questions and all.

The idea that a group who makes no effort to hold themselves accountable (redistricting, comprehensive plan, rumormongering) is somehow suddenly going to develop an effective strategy to demand accountability in others doesn't offer much hope. In fact, they're currently using tax dollars to fend off a lawsuit rather than even trying. I wouldn't be surprised if more suits were on the way. They're deserved.

You want building inspection accountability? Provide inspectors a checklist of items to be inspected at each property and a digital camera. Require them to take a photo of each item inspected whether they approve it or demand corrective measures. When they return to the office at the end of the day with their inspection reports, it would take very little time to transfer the photos into a database or a folder with the properties' addresses attatched.

That would prove that they're actually doing the inspections, serve as a visual record to resolve disputes, provide an objective measure of performance, and limit opportunities for corruption. Cost to the city? Less than $1,000.

Want an inspector just to handle rental properties? Set a fee structure that would pay for it. A single inspector checking three properties a day (two hours at each location and a remaining two hours each day to file reports and photos) could inspect 750 units in 50 weeks a year.

At a $60 average per inspection (hardly a burden on landlords once every couple of years), that inspector would generate $45,000 in fees each year. That would just about cover a $35,000 salary and benefits, the amount the city pays inspectors.

The current inspection system is dependent on citizen complaints and costs us money each time an inspection occurs. Mandatory rental inspections and an appropriate fee structure would guarantee that more buildings get inspected at no or substantially reduced cost to the city.

Could the Building Commisioner or Mayor's offices work on implementing these systems themselves?

Photos? Yes. Rental inspection? No.

As the fiduciary body of the city, does a responsible Council sit on its hands and wait for them to do so voluntarily?

No.

Has famed building expert and Commissioner basher Larry Kochert been advocating for such an accountability system for building inspections?

No.

Such a system would mean he'd have to back up his rants with objective information rather than innuendo. I've heard him drone on about the Building Commisioner numerous times but none of those grandstands were supported with specific examples of wrongdoing and, if they were, neither he nor the Building Commissioner could prove their respective positions.

It's OK for Kochert to blame the Commisioner for the Commissioner's shortcomings if he can quantify them. It's not OK for Kochert to blame his own shortcomings on the Commissioner.

Has self-described hero to the poor and taxpayer advocate Steve Price ever brought similar rental inspection ideas to the table under the guise of helping the poor, saving money, or both?

No.

That would require a pencil and the ability to draw a line between dots. The problem with those country songs is that one line has to be followed by another, rhyming their way to resolution. Nashville is safe for now.

Highwayman said...

Tim,
Don't hold your breath!