Saturday, April 01, 2006

Sayeth The Gary: "Growth and change is good."

I won’t expend much effort in describing the Tribune’s annual embarrassment of a paean to masturbatory self-indulgence, otherwise known as the “Progress” insert, in which a variety of local businesses contribute shameless press releases to accompany paid advertising.

It’s hard to imagine this game being worth the flame, and that anyone might actually believe the contrived fluff offered in the guise of newsworthiness, but hey, it’s a free market (unless you’re in the beer biz), and they’d spend the money on something (charity?) if not this.

What -- my favorite part?

Thanks for asking.

It’s the page devoted to the McCartin Company, in which The Gary explains the myriad reasons why his self-aggrandizing colonization of the exurb is crucial for the future of Southern Indiana, gathers a freshly employed acolyte or two for purely solicited testimonials, and pauses only to scorn downtown New Albany revitalization (i.e., Scribner Place) while balancing a beach ball on his nose, chewing gum, and spitting nails at those who can’t understand that “improvements I am making today will benefit children tomorrow and in the future.”

According to The Gary, “Our leaders don’t seem to be up to the challenge ... ”

(Shrug) -- just remember that NAC wasn’t the one advising him to cozy up to Councilman Cappuccino.

What was that about people wanting to be close to their churches?

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