Thursday, January 06, 2005

Council follies on Wednesday, Part 2: Valla Ann unleashes the “R” word

Drop caps were the order of the evening when New Albany’s City Council met for the first time in 2005. Numerous members of the public in attendance wore green stickers stating “Shame on G.”

These sentiments are not to be confused with the rock group Deep Purple’s 1975 composition entitled “Owed to G,” which denoted organist Jon Lord’s homage to composer George Gershwin.

Other slogans come into mind:

On the whistle-blower Steve Broadus: “Free the New Albany One.”

For Mayor Garner’s next (?) campaign: “James Garner: Leadership Only As A Last Resort.”

On the Mayor’s leaden foot-dragging with respect to ordinance enforcement: “Last Person to Leave New Albany, Please Turn Out the Pilot (less) Light.”

And so on.

The first member of the public to speak was Valla Ann Bolovschak, owner of the refurbished Admiral Bicknell Inn bed & breakfast on Main Street. Valla Ann has spent the past year crusading on behalf of quieting the freight trains that rumble through the center of historic New Albany, a task requiring the cooperation not just of New Albany’s city officials (to adjust a crossing point and close an adjacent street to through traffic), but of Norfolk-Southern itself – and the concept of recalcitrant bureaucratic arrogance long since has been elevated to an art form by these particular Iron Horsemen and their brethren.

Picking up steam, Valla Ann proceeded to accuse Mayor Garner of twice failing to attend meetings that she had painstakingly organized for the purpose of achieving her campaign, and as the Mayor squirmed red-faced in the rear, she wheeled, pointed a finger at him and (as quoted by the Courier-Journal’s ever intrepid Ben Zion Hershberg) said, “Jimmy, you work for me. If we were the boss, we'd be firing you."

Panic-stricken, the Council’s spanking new President, Jeff Gahan, tentatively banged his gavel and advised Valla Ann in his best parent-to-child tone that she was being rude. Valla Ann then made a graceful, stage-managed exit into the arms of her beau as applause broke out and Diana and I laughed uncontrollably from our cheap seats in the rear.

But before departing, Valla Ann lobbed a verbal grenade into the crowd, publicly uttering the dreaded “R” word: Recall. She asked: What are the procedures in Indiana for mayoral recall?

She sounded serious, and if I were a betting man, I’d put a few bucks down that her agents soon will be examining the statute books with a magnifying glass.

All the while, Mayor Garner kept his head low and rehearsed his notes for later:

All critics are misinformed malcontents … criticism is not warranted … we’re doing a great job … the only mistake I’ve made is being naïve about the fanaticism of my enemies … I’m doing a great job – just look at the price of this suit – New Albanians want their mayor to be well dressed.

And so on.

Moments later frequent commentator David Huckleberry strode to the speaker’s area and proved that earnestness need not be displayed sans good humor, remarking that there’s no way he would ever run for public office and be forced to face people like himself spouting off at public meetings.

Only when Greg Roberts of the East Spring Street Neighborhood Association insisted that the Council explain the status of the ordinance enforcement measure was it revealed that the Mayor had refused to sign it. Subsequently, the meeting ground to an indecisive conclusion, with all items of substance deferred until next time.

As though predestined, the evening did not pass without a surreal coda. At the end of the meeting, five of us responded to councilman Dan Coffey’s insistence by driving to his antique auction barn on Main Street and submitting to a strange but interesting guided tour that revealed a very different side of the man than that customarily shown in his public and political capacity.

I wonder what that was about?

The Courier-Journal’s Ben Zion Hershberg covers the City Council meeting:
http://www.courier-journal.com/localnews/2005/01/06in/B1-alb0106-5112.html

Valla Ann’s bed and breakfast:
http://www.admiralbicknell.com/

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